I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He has the fingertips of a God
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