Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
