i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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