Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I deserve this hangover.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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