im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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