super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i've created a new STD.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
