So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
