next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
