i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
