whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
