You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
