I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
vagina is talking i cant
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
