My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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