please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
