Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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