from now on my penis is your penis
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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