if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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