I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
