I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
