She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
