You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
