I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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