So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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