when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
