dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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