oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
