I wannas sexs uuuuu
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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