I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
