So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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