what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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