I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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