I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I touched a dick in church today
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
