You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
