your room smells of hookers.
And success
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I feel like abortions should bother me more
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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