He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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