What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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