i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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