And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
