STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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