Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
