I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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