i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
