I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
