If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
