Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
