Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
