Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
