I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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