i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
