MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
