Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
