I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
