Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
