Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
