goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize