If i come over, it means nothing
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
