so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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