oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
