It's Friday. Sex?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
