I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
