thus making me awesome and them whores
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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