I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
